Too Real To Be Reality
by Jetom
Summary: Ed gets captured by Drachman's whilst on a mission, imprisoned and interrogated he begins to hallucinate... meanwhile the team is trying to track him down before he can be taken across the border and out of reach for good...
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: hi there, so I felt like writing something a bit different than my usual stuff, and yeah came up with this. Basically Ed I being held captive and over time starts to hallucinate various things and people... promise it will get better as it goes on ;P hope you like, please let me know what you think as am trying something new :) thanks!**

Hunger was such an interesting thing to experience, a truly unique progression of sensation which few people could truly understand to its fullest extent. True, most at some point in their lives had felt the beginning stages, the internal grumbling, the sharp pain of an empty stomach, maybe even the slight weakness when one too many meals were missed from working too long. But at that moment in time, Ed had realised that his hunger had transcended such mundane planes of existence. He was discovering what lay _beyond_ the simple problems of a skipped lunch, this was an entirely new realm of sensations.

He supposed the best way to describe how he felt at that moment was… _floaty_ … yeah, that seemed to fit, even though paradoxically his limbs seemed unusually heavy and awkward. And not just his automail- his flesh and blood appendages also seemed to have gained several pounds of weight and so he no longer had any desire to move them. Not that he really could of course- seeing as how they were currently chained to the wall against which he leant so as to prevent him performing alchemy. But that was beside the point… wait… what had the point been?

The blonde screwed his face up in thought, absentmindedly try to blow a few loose strands of dull gold hair away from his eyes. Oh yes- hunger, that was what he had been considering… _floaty…_ oh yes, he had finally pinned down the technical term for the way that his mind seemed to be ever so slightly detached from his present circumstances. It was as if his skull was full of helium and would happily drift away if not for the inconvenience of the rest of his corporeal form.

For a moment the mental image made him smile a little to himself in the dark… what if it happened? His head taking off and escaping, rising higher and gliding all the way back home to central... it could get help, tell the others where he was and what had happened and to come and get him and-

It was a few minutes before he realised that he was no longer smiling. Supposed helium in his brain notwithstanding, his head drooped until his chin rested against his chest.

Of course he still believed that they would come for him. In truth he knew it, every fibre of his being thrumming with the certainty that of course he was not abandoned. Of course they were going to reach him. Of course… of course… of course…

But he didn't know how long he had already been waiting, and the words were starting to feel as hollow as his insides…

A small voice, slightly raspy and yet still with a hint of steel was the only sound in the surrounding black, " _of course…"_


	2. Chapter 2

_CHAPTER 2_

The expression on Colonel Mustang's face as he stalked down the corridors of Central Headquarters could by the most polite of people been labelled as murderous. Polite or not, it warned all those who he encountered that it would no doubt prolong their lifespans to get out his way _FAST_.

Storming into his outer office, one glance was all it took to realise that his team had no new leads or information, before he strode into his inner space and slammed the door with a ferocity Fullmetal would have been proud of. The thought of his youngest subordinate set his teeth on edge. Two weeks. Two _bloody_ weeks since the call had come through from an informant that Edward Elric had missed his scheduled check in with their contacts in North City.

At first he had played it off as the annoying brat just being lazy, probably already causing trouble somewhere and would resurface when the cost of damages reached a high enough level that he could be sure of giving his commander a stroke. That was it, and that was all, it was just Fullmetal being a pain in the rear as usual…

Such thoughts had lasted until three days later, when the report of a concerned civilian seeing what appeared to be an unconscious child being thrown into the back of a van had reached them. Apparently the police had been dealing with it until they had found an alchemist's watch in a nearby alley, at which point they had decided to check in with the military to see if they had anyone in the area who might be a witness. They weren't expecting to find out the watch belonged to the victim, who was swiftly identified as Edward Elric, Fullmetal Alchemist, Hero of the People… now officially MIA.

The call had come through to Roy's desk shortly after.

The team had mobilised, contacts ferreted out, informants squeezed for any scrap of information. Alphonse had been called in Risembool where he had been visiting the Rockbells, a conversation which had lasted for precisely three minutes before the younger brother was heading for the next train to central.

After the first flurry of activity, the waiting had begun. Waiting for each informant as they one by one came up empty. Waiting as the local police drew a blank. Waiting until the phone on Mustang's desk finally rang with a call from the Fuhrer's office in response to his repeated requests to take his team up there and conduct a search themselves. Two weeks of waiting.

With tightly controlled movements the Colonel replaced the phone on its hook and headed to the outer room. He looked at his subordinates one by one, noting the anger and hope mingled on each of their faces as they waited to hear their orders.

Satisfied with what he saw, he gave a sharp nod. "Get your shit packed up people. We are heading north."


	3. Chapter 3

They had come for him an hour before… an hour? Was that right? Probably, seemed roughly that long… well actually it had felt like far longer, but the detached part of Edward's mind, the part able to stand back and watch with a measure of detachment as his interrogation swiftly degenerated into brutality, that part reckoned on an hour.

But, as had already been mentioned, it felt like an awful lot longer.

By the time his captors had left, Edward Elric had become little more than a limp body being held up by cold metal chains alone. At least that was how he looked on the outside. Inside his head was another matter entirely, a whirling vortex of white hot rage and a desire for vengeance, a thirst for blood of frightening intensity for one so young.

He fed that rage, clung to its searing heat as a way to ground himself, a distraction from the fact that _oh god EVERYTHING HURT._

"Wow Fullmetal aren't you a pretty picture." Despite the sheer weight of the exhaustion pressing on his body, the sparks of agony flickering over almost every inch of skin, he still managed to flinch in surprise. That voice, deep and slightly husky, the auditory embodiment of smugness with just a dash of self-righteous flair. God it was good to hear it.

Slowly, Edward raised his head, squinting a little at the form which his eyes could just about make out in the dark of his cell. There was the sound of a small snap, and suddenly the comforting glare of alchemical flames dancing over an open palm brought the details into sharp focus. Despite his condition, the teenager actually managed a faint ghost of a smile at the image, even finding comfort in the cocky grin which he had always hated so much.

"Hey Colonel Bastard." The boy's voice was harsh and scratchy, too little water… too much screaming…  
"Now is that any way to speak to your superior?"  
"Huh, superior asshole more like… look, you gonna untie me any time soon?"

For a moment there was only the sound of his own wheezing breaths, and then he noticed something off in the Colonel's expression. "What's the problem bastard?"  
"Umm well this is kind of awkward actually… I can't set you free."  
"Why the hell not?!"  
"Oh come on Fullmetal, use your genius little brain-"  
"Who are you calling-"  
"Dammit, I am not actually HERE!"

There was silence, a deeply echoing void as the gears in Edward's brain spun at a thousand miles an hour.  
"You… aren't here?"  
"Someone get a prize for the prodigy."  
"So… I'm hallucinating then?"  
"Bingo! Actually I am kind of flattered that this is what your subconscious chooses when you are in trouble."  
"Don't let it go to your head, bastard."  
"That would be your head, Fullmetal."

The young alchemist groaned softly. This had the potential to drive him… "Does this mean I have finally, properly gone crazy?"  
"I wouldn't go that far- more like as a reaction to hunger and pain your mind has summoned up little old me as I guess some form of coping mechanism. So… yeah, maybe a bit delirious, but I wouldn't go so far as cracked."  
"How comforting."  
"Don't blame me- not here remember? Just you talking to yourself… which admittedly does sound a bit nuts…"

The teenager growled softly. "Look here, wet-match, if you don't have anything useful to say then just get lost will you? I am in enough pain already without having to stare at your ugly mug."  
Somehow the product of his own over stimulated mind managed to look offended. "Well, I was going to tell you to hang on, that we are coming to get you, but if you are going to be snippy about this scenario I guess I could leave you alone."

"Coming to get me? And how would a figment of my imagination have any idea what was going on outside this pathetic hole?"  
"Because- I am the you that knows you better than you know yourself. And you know _them._ "  
"You are starting to sound like Truth…"  
"Look here runt-"

The door to his cell crashed open, and a new silhouette came into view, a new voice broke through the dark. "So, State Alchemist… let's try this again shall we?"

 **A/N: whoop 2 chapters in one day! for some reason got really into writing this today! thanks to those who have commented on this so far- seriously makes my day to know that people are actually reading this :D hope you are liking it so far :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: well, here we are again. thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed so far- know hat you mean about length so am trying to work on that a bit :) but yeah, again please R &R, hope you like latest instalment, btw next chapter will probably jump back to Mustang's lot to check in on the investigation. Hope you are having a good day wherever you are! :D**

"Chief… hey, hey Chief… you with me?"

Edward Elric gradually cracked one eye open, his left since the right one was currently swollen shut and no doubt turning a unique shade of purple. He didn't want to in all honesty, but that voice had piqued his interest.  
"Havoc? Is that you?"  
"Hey there kid, umm, how are you feeling?"  
"Dumb question."

The figure in front of him looked a little embarrassed, his voice had sounded genuinely concerned. Somehow it made the whole situation both comforting and painful, as the teenager wished with all his might for just a moment that this was real. Too bad for him.  
"So, why has my brain dredged you up?"  
"Hey that's a little harsh Chief… although on balance a fair question… I think it is because the guard outside this dump is smoking at the moment- I reckon you smelt it and _voila_ here I am." The apparition grinned a little at his deduction. The boy blinked, or rather winked, tiredly…

"Well, it is good to know that even in my current state some of my intelligence is still alive and kicking."  
"What are you talking about? That was my idea!"  
"Yeah, but you aren't real- you are me, ergo it was my reasoning that figured out your existence."

A new voice chipped in, "Wow Fullmetal- you are actually arguing with yourself over who had an idea first, you or you. I never realised your self-esteem was so… _stunted._ "  
"Great, now even my subconscious is calling me short."  
"Must mean that deep down you acknowledge it as truth- guess that is why you always scream at me when I comment on it- you are just that deep in denial."  
"Well, we all kind of knew that already about the Chief. I mean, there is no way a prodigy could be genuinely that delusional to be so wrong about their own size…"

For a moment Ed just looked back and forth between the apparitions before him, "Yeah… I don't think now is the time to be discussing whether I am delusional… you know, just taking into account the fact that neither of you are actually here. Hang on, why are you back Mustang? I mean, I get the logic behind Havoc, as far as you can call this insanity logical that is… but why you as well?"  
"Afraid I don't really know Fullmetal, maybe I am just your default setting?"  
"That is a truly disturbing thought."

For a while there was silence, even though the figures didn't disappear. Eventually Ed spoke up again, voice low and slightly tinged with embarrassment. "You know, even though I know that you aren't actually here… umm… thanks for being here? I guess…"  
"Ok Chief- now I am sure that something is deeply wrong. Just how hard did that guy hit you?"

It flashed through the young alchemist's mind, the sneering face of the Drachman soldier as he threw a fist towards his prisoner's unguarded stomach, forcing the air from his lungs in a wheezing gasp which left a sick sensation in his abdomen. The accented shouted questions about the military, about the locations of bases which he didn't even know and wouldn't have told if he did. His silence had been met with greater anger, and suddenly he had been assigned the role of punching bag. As much as he would have liked to say that it all blurred together it wasn't true. He had felt every single impact as a new form of pain, even when his skin had become a patchwork of tender agony, the latest blows were always felt as a new burning star. He shuddered as he remember the sound one of his ribs had made, just before there was a final crash to his face and everything had gone dark.

With memory came feeling, and at once every dull ache crescendo to a roar which for the space of a heartbeat consumed his senses and seemed to make his ears ring as he hissed through his teeth. How had he not noticed it before? He glared at Havoc and spoke through gritted teeth, "Another dumb question."  
"Technically you are the one asking them…" the hallucination grumbled under his breath, and Ed wasn't sure whether his headache was from a likely concussion or just trying to figure out his own mind.

"It's probably both." Mustang piped up from where he had leant against one wall.  
"I didn't say anything."  
"For the love of- I am in your head remember? So obviously I know what you are thinking."  
Okay, it was definitely the result of his own subconscious.  
"Well that is not very nice."  
"Would you stop doing that?!"  
The look from the image of his superior spoke volumes. It developed into a staring match between alchemists, lasted about a minute and then suddenly Ed broke down into pained laughter.

"Oh my god, I am actually trying to stare down myself. I really am losing it…" The wheezing laughter began to verge on hysterical as the enormity of what he said sank in, transforming into hiccupping sobs as he gasped for air, "I'm losing it, I'm really losing it. There is no one here- you two aren't real. I am alone, all alone… it's just me, in the dark, alone… I'm losing it…"  
"Hey, Fullemetal! Snap out of it!"

And even though he _knew_ it wasn't real, and was seriously considering giving in to the rising panic in his own head, he still latched onto that ghost of a voice as a lifeline.  
"Look, we may not really be here, but the fact you are seeing us doesn't mean you are going nuts. True, you are not exactly on an even keel- not that you are normally the most reasonable of brats to begin with, but you haven't lost it. Our presence is proof of that- proof that you are still fighting, that you haven't given up. The fact you are seeing us just shows that you are still able to use a coping mechanism even in this situation."

Somehow that was working, calming himself down as he thought it through.  
"All you have to do is hold on. You know that the real versions of us are going to come for you. We will find you and get you out of here. Until then, we will keep popping up- sort of like an internal cheer squad… although without the mini-skirts, since whilst the real Mustang would probably go for something like that, I am still you and frankly that would be a genuinely traumatic experience for our psyche don't you agree?"  
"Umm, yes I apparently do since I just said it…"

It was confusing, yet comforting, and for the moment it was all he could take as exhaustion stole over him and all versions of his current reality faded into the blank oblivion of sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: so yeah, as promised a bit of a catch up with Mustang's team just to keep an eye on them really :) they will be getting a longer chapter in a bit, but for now am just posting two shorter ones- one for them and the other on Ed. Thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed and is following this story! really makes my day to see you guys are actually reading this :D hope wherever you are, you are having a good day!**

The train ride had taken the better part of two days to reach North City, two days of cramped conditions, hard wooden benches (because military expenses would only cover the most basic modes of transport) and a tension so thick in the air that Mustang could almost feel it crawling across his skin. The tracks had run through some of the most breath taking scenery in Amestris, a sparkling landscape of purest white which seemed untouched by humanity even as their small locomotive skirted the edges of the wilderness.

They had ignored all of it. Files which had been hastily thrown into bags were read, then re-read, in a desperate search for any previously missed scrap of information. As the tiniest of details was picked out and poured over, the Colonel's mind ran at a hundred miles an hour to come up with some form of plan for when they finally arrived.

The last bit of intelligence they had received just before leaving the office had suggested that they would have a better chance searching beyond the city limits, since the interior had already been scoured more times than was perhaps even sane. Such assurances from the on the ground authorities notwithstanding, the team had agreed to split forces with Havoc and Breda coordinating another sweep within the city whilst the others moved on.

From North City the rest of the group faced the uncomfortable task of making it even further north, preparing to go as far as Briggs if need be. A small part of Mustang's brain felt a flinch of fear at the thought of the Northern Wall, who seemed to find his very existence offensive. It was a sense which he ruthlessly crushed down, turning back to the papers in his hands.

Finding Fullmetal was far more important. It was a sentiment they all agreed on unequivocally, with the silently brooding presence of Alphonse in the corner of their carriage only serving to heighten their determination.

At first Hawkeye had attempted to get through to the child in the armour, but he had stubbornly refused to respond. Every ounce of his being was focused on the upcoming mission. He would find his brother, come hell or high water. No matter what. Nothing else mattered.

And so it was a grim faced group that got off the train at long last, stretching protesting leg muscles from cramped positions even as they shivered in the chill blast of air which greeted them. A typical Northern welcome some cynical part of each of them registered. It was with stiff salutes and burning eyes that they parted ways, the two men who would be staying behind briefly clasping Al's metal shoulder in a wordless promise. Ed would be found. And God help whoever had dared to hurt a single golden hair on his head.


	6. Chapter 6

There was a strange sound echoing through the dark. A half broken and grating… something… which echoed back and distorted itself on the rock walls of a tunnel. If someone of an inquisitive nature had decided to follow the sound down the dark passage and through the veritable labyrinth which wound its way so far below ground, they would have eventually reached a particular grate in a particular door. The door itself was unremarkable, and the guard leaning against it could well have been ordered from a henchman's catalogue, but even so the sound would have drawn them in.

Certainly noises were not a unique phenomenon in this place of shadows, although they were usually far louder and agonised, tinged with desperation and a hint of rage. Yet those sounds were over for the time being, no longer ringing and melding with angry shouts of questions left unanswered.

Instead, there was this new… was it a tune? Partially drowned by the snores of the guard… but yes, it did seem to be a tune. In case extreme curiosity drove the intrepid explorer, it would have been found to originate from a crumpled form in the corner of the cell on the far side of the door. The bloodied heap could possibly be identified as human with a stretch of the imagination… but it would be quite a big stretch indeed. Rather, it was a small mass of pain and exhaustion, bound together by crusted blood and cold iron chains. But… it was… _he was_ … humming?

Ed lay boneless against the base of the wall like a puppet whose strings had been cut and left discarded. Part of him wished that was the case, because at least then his captors would stop paying such close attention to him. He didn't know anymore how long they left him between 'sessions', with time by this point not having any meaning in his murky thoughts.

Despite this, or perhaps because of this, a random tune had come to the surface of his mind- a melody which he hadn't heard in what felt like forever. He couldn't remember the words, and the attempt at a tune was a scratchy broken thing more akin to pained gasps with a semblance of rhythm. But he could hear it in his head. And for just a little while, Ed let himself just float and then immerse himself in the memory.

 _He had just got back from yet another lead, was dead on his feet but somehow raring to go out again. Instead the team had ganged up and declared that the brothers had to take a break if only for one evening, resulting in a group trip to a local café._

"Do you remember that Colonel?"  
The image in front of his half lidded eyes simply nodded gently, making the young alchemist crook his lips into what could have been a grimace or a severely damaged smile.

 _After a motion from Hawkeye towards the ever present gun at her hip, Mustang had magnanimously declared it to be his treat, prompting all and sundry to order twice as much food as they could possibly ever eat._

"I had never seen you look so outraged when Havoc ordered lobster and steak…" Even to his own ears the boy sounded slightly dreamy, strangely detached from his surroundings. "Honestly Colonel, thought you would flame him…"  
"You know, I am just your hallucination, so there is no need to keep up the formality."  
"Huh?" for a minute he was broken out of his memory haze, trying to focus blurry eyes on the figment of his imagination.  
"Eloquent as ever. I just meant, seeing as how I am just in your head, why not just call me Roy?"  
"Colonel Bastard suits you better."  
"Whatever Shrimp."  
In the following silence his thoughts once again drifted to better times…

 _It had passed in a blur of good food and better company, the group becoming slightly rowdy as more than a couple of beers were consumed, even Hawkeye relaxing enough to join in the general hilarity as much as her introverted personality would allow. Fuery had got drunk after just two bottles, falling asleep with his face half resting in his bowl of pasta to everyone's amusement. A slightly tipsy Mustang had declared the even Ed could handle his booze better, and to the teenager's shock had handed him his very own beer. It was harsh and bitter, choking him as it burned down his throat but he refused to cough. They had cheered his flushed face…_

"That was the first time I ever tried alcohol you know, Mustang…"

 _And then that song had come over the radio which had been largely ignored in the background until this point. They all knew it, old as time itself, the sort of tune which would hide in the depths of your brain and randomly surface to drive you nuts at the strangest moments when you couldn't remember the words. But that night they had known them, had bellowed them in what they fondly believed to be a masterful chorus rendition. The other café patrons had disagreed, and eventually they had been asked to exit the premises. Ed had staggered back to the hotel, half supported by Al who shook his head fondly at his older brother's antics…_

"Promise me we will go back there? Promise me that you will find me, and we will all go out again, and order too much just to annoy you."  
The image was wavering, or was it just the boy's eyesight? Maybe both, the now familiar rush of unconsciousness beginning to claim the edges of his already limited vision.  
"Promise me, Roy…" his whisper faded into nothingness.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: alrighty, so here as promised is a much longer chapter! like, seriously long! jts- jumps point of view a little bit :) umm, so yeah nearing the end of this story, probs only a couple of chapters left... thanks again so much to everyone who has reviewed- so good to know you like it :D hope that wherever you are you are having a good day!**

Mustang gratefully accepted the hot coffee which Hawkeye passed him, wrapping his hands eagerly around the scalding mug and inhaling the rich steam. Taking a gulp almost blistered his tongue but it was worth it to feel the heat blossoming as it went down. _God he hated the cold._ Even though he and his team were now within the heart of the Briggs fortress they all kept their coats on and firmly buttoned, although practicality necessitated that they remove their gloves so as to be able to handle papers better.

It was worth it. Worth coming through a sudden blizzard, almost crashing on the ice slicked roads as they navigated the mountain trails. Only Hawkeye's expert handling of their truck had prevented what would no doubt have been a swift, frozen death. It was worth the frostbite nipping at their fingertips. Even the deeply chilling reception from General Armstrong had melted in significance when she presented their latest local intelligence reports.

It was worth it. It was worth all of it. They had a lead.

A calmer observer would have pointed out that as leads went it was the definition of thin, practically a shadow of a thread. BUT it was far more than they had been working with up to that point. Someone in the fort's communication office had picked up on a stray transmission, nothing overly unusual in itself, mentioning something about a shipment of gold. Noted down as a likely smuggling ring, it had been filed away with all the other daily intelligence reports. At least until his team showed up shivering at their door and demanded to see all of their records from the last two weeks.

It had been Falman that found the note, but it wasn't until Hawkeye mentioned how some people unofficially referred to the Fullmetal Alchemist as Mustang's Golden Boy- partly for his hair and eyes, and partly from spite for the boost his recruitment gave to the Colonel's career, that they had put it together. There had been a flicker of hope, a daring display given the situation, but it was a feeling which could not be repressed.

What if it was a code- and the 'shipment of gold' was really Ed?

The combined efforts of Mustang and Falman physically sitting on Al were needed to prevent the suit of armour running off at once to find his brother. Their attempts would have been in vain, if not surprisingly for the intervention of the General herself who had come into their purloined office to find out what all the commotion was about. Her very presence, imposing and stern, had stilled the ongoing struggle, before her clipped and terse words finally broke through to the younger Elric.  
"Is he strong?"

Somehow a mass of metal managed to give off an air of confusion.  
"Are you deaf or dumb? I asked you a straight forward question: is your brother strong?"  
"Yes- he is the strongest person I know." There was no hesitation in Al's voice, and Olivier nodded sharply.  
"In that case you can afford to spend the time to make sure this is done right. This is Briggs, where only the strong survive. That is the only law here. If he was weak, he would already be dead. It is that simple. If however he is as strong as you claim, then he is certainly alive and still fighting. So listen carefully because I will only say this once: PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER. You will be useless otherwise."  
It was definitely tough but necessary to hear, and the kid had finally, if sheepishly, settled down.

They decided to wait whilst Fuery worked his magic with the Briggs equipment and tried to narrow down their search by re-finding the signal.

And so, it was back to waiting, except this time with some real expectation.

….

Blinding agony burst through the cloud of Ed's senses, drowning out any ghost of rational thought as his entire being focused solely on the fact that he had to _keep breathing_ , but it was so damned hard! His interrogator had showed him the clawed tool, three hooked blades almost like a grappling hook, with little grooves in the tips which were apparently filled with salt. That had been moments before he dug it into the exposed flesh of the child's back.

If the shock hadn't driven the air from his lungs he would have screamed, then screamed again as it was jerked from its purchase in his body. Every muscle in his exhausted body trembled from pure adrenaline as he felt the literal salt in his wounds as if it were fire from Mustang's own hand.

He could see the Colonel, there in the far corner of the room, standing impassively against one wall and watching with expressionless eyes.

Ed's own squeezed tightly shut as the cruel device once again tore into his damaged back, this time letting loose a strangled yell. He had long ago given up the pride of not screaming for the small relief which it offered from his torment. Opening his less damaged eye once again, he stared pleadingly at the image of his commanding officer, even as his fractured senses told him that there would be no relief from that corner.

Another kiss of salted steel on raw wounds…

…..

Fuery came charging into the office eagerly waving a sheet of paper and already babbling his report.  
"Colonel! Colonel I found the transmission again. They are using a fairly basic operating system from what I can tell, not overly long distance. I was able to narrow down a possible search radius."  
"Excellent work."

Even Olivier deigned to grace them with a small twitch of her lips which may have been a smile on anybody less intimidating. "You seem to choose your subordinates well at least, Mustang."  
He nodded in brief acknowledgement of the reluctant compliment. Before the subordinate in question piped up again.

"There's more- I was able to pick up on some more of their chatter. Seems whoever is at their base is organising transport for 'the gold shipment'- they are trying to coordinate it for tomorrow morning."  
"What?! But that is so soon! How will we have enough time to find brother?"  
"Don't worry Alphonse, I promised you that I would bring your brother back and I never break my word. However, that does move up our timeline somewhat. What else did you find out?"

The normally timid man swallowed slightly at suddenly being so intensely focused on by all and sundry.  
"Umm, well I checked with some Briggs soldiers about the area I had identified, and they said the only thing of any interest around there is an abandoned mine network."  
"That would make for a good hide out. Alright, get ready to move people, Hawkeye-"  
"I already checked in with Havoc and Breda when we first arrived, they had already finished their tasks and left North City. With any luck they should be here in a couple of hours. Colonel, it would probably be best to wait until they arrive so we have more men for searching."

It was with a ragged sigh of frustration that he agreed. As much as they all wanted to just get this over with, as the General had pointed out there was no point unless they were going to do this the right way.

 _We always seem to be waiting…_

….

The teenager's voice had long since given out entirely, vocal chords finally shredded beyond use by his constant screams. At best he could only now produce a breathy, catching screech in response to only the purest forms of pain. It had been far longer than normal, this session, and he honestly wasn't sure if he would survive the experience.

Along with his voice he had truly started to lose his grip on reality, his entire existence reduced to the flares of agony which ripped through him from head to toe. Having ruined his back to the point where their little tool could no longer find a hold, his captors had switched methods to electric currents. It gave a whole new meaning to Ed's definition of pain.

And still, whenever he was able to slit one eye open, there was Mustang standing in the same position and watching all that happened. _But he wasn't real. There was nothing he could do. So why was his presence somehow lending him strength? It was beyond illogical. He was too tired to even think of questioning it anymore._

….

The whole team was at last together, once more speeding across the icy tundra of this godforsaken stretch of country, homing in on the area where they were praying that their friend was being held. Mustang was playing over and over again in his mind the words which Fuery had muttered to him when they left the fort and headed for their vehicle, voice low to avoid being overheard by Al who was walking just ahead.

"Colonel, I thought you should know- in the chatter I picked up they referred to the 'gold shipment' having become rather 'tarnished'… I think…"  
Mustang had placed a hand on the radio expert's shoulder, forestalling his next words. "There is only one thing to think about at this moment in time, and that is finding him before they move him. Everything else we can deal with later."

Fuery had nodded and climbed into the truck, and yet hypocrite that the Colonel was he kept playing that word over in his mind. _Tarnished… tarnished… what if he's… no, don't even think that. Just hold on Ed, we are coming... we are coming for you. Just hold on._

…

Eventually his inability to yell had proved too boring for the interrogators, and they had finally left leaving a limp body lying on the cold floor. It didn't move, eyes staring yet unseeing, fiery golden orbs now dimmed and faded. So much crimson, far too bold against the cold pale skin… total silence pervaded the dark cell.

And then there was a faint whisper, a half choked inhalation and the apparent corpse in the corner drew in the faintest of breaths.

 _Still alive… I am still alive… how am I still alive?_

A figure only visible to the not quite dead boy knelt in front of those tarnished eyes, and he could have sworn that a hand held his own. Except it couldn't be real, because there was no way that if it was it wouldn't have sent ever greater wave of pain through his battered form. But it was better than real, because it didn't hurt, yet he was sure that he could really feel it.

"Oh Ed, you really have been in the wars haven't you… just keep breathing for me…"  
"Brother… don't you dare give up on me now. I need you. Remember our purpose…" the second shape, hulking and accompanied by the creaking of leather and metal, was almost more painful to see than any other torment which had been inflicted on the young alchemist. Although it was impossible, he still tried desperately to move his arm, to reach out for his brother…

 _No point… not really here… they are not really here…_

…

"Sir! There- that is the spire of the central shaft of the mine! We are almost there!"

…

 _Not really here… never will be…_


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: hey there! so, here is the second to last chapter and hooray it is another long one! I hope it makes sense, as I was playing around with point of view jumps a bit more than normal (and honestly was writing at stupid-o-clock at night). please R &R as I love getting feedback and knowing whether people are liking what I am writing :D and thanks so much to everyone who already has! it seriously makes my day! hope you are having a good day wherever you are!**

The darkness retreated steadily before the advance of the torches being held by Mustang's team as they worked their way through the maze of underground passages. As much as the Colonel hated the blatant advertisement of their presence, it was unavoidable if they wanted to have a hope in hell of seeing where they were going. The only sounds were the reverberations of their own footsteps, their own harsh breathing, and their own increasing heartbeats.

Continuing on into the abyss only served to ratchet up the tension to a painful pitch, every nerve being set on edge as they all waited for something… anything… to happen. Nobody spoke, directions being relayed by hand signals. How long had they been down here? It felt as if days could have passed since they last saw the sky, although it had probably only been a matter of hours at most. Was Ed really down here? What if he had already been shipped off to a new location? What if he was…

A noise. Everybody froze on the spot, holding their breath. A moment passed, another, a minute… and there it was again. It was most certainly something- some sign that they weren't the only life in this godforsaken place. With new eagerness the soldiers pressed forwards.

…

How long had he been lying there, face pressed into the cold of the stone floor. It must have been a while as Ed had long ago lost feeling in his extremities from the heat bleeding contact. Not that he minded that of course, the numbness ensuring that his various hurts could be largely ignored. Even so, he couldn't find it in himself to move. There was just… no motivation… and so he just lay where he was.

A pair of boots came into his line of sight, black military issue. The alchemist stared at them dispassionately. A moment later someone plonked themselves down next to his limp form, the boots in his eye line being replaced by the royal blue of a uniform. Was Mustang back?

"Hello there Edward." Nope, not Mustang.  
"Hiya Hawkeye. Long-time no see."  
"Indeed." For a moment there was silence before her voice broke through his thoughts once again. "So how long are you going to stay like this?"  
"Haven't decided yet, somewhere between a few more minutes and eternity I reckon."  
The only response he received was a faint 'tut'. "Great, now my own subconscious is judging me."  
"Hey don't shoot the messenger." He couldn't help but snort at that.

Time passed… eventually she took a breath and spoke up again, "Look here Ed- you need to move. I know you don't exactly want to but… well frankly you need to pull yourself together. This isn't like you to just lie here and wait for the bastards who took you to decide you no longer are of use."  
"Hmm, nice sentiment… but right now it doesn't really sway me… I'm just so tired…"  
"Edward Elric quit whining and stop being useless! I won't let this be the end of you. Don't you remember? You have to fight- you have to get back to Al, or are you going to let your younger brother remain trapped in a suit of armour? I know what it is like, to be alone and afraid, but I also know that you can't just give up!"

It was a nice thought, a pretty sentiment, but nothing more. After all- what could he possibly do in his current position? Faintly disgusted with himself he made to shift his battered body to avoid looking at the Lieutenant's image. He couldn't feel the pain of it anymore, but he still felt the sensation as the lacerations once again split open, warm blood seeping down to join the ever growing pool in which he lay. His whole being was soaked in red, all that was inside now decorating the outer shell in crimson paint…

He remembered how as a child he and Al would play with myriad colours of paint and ink, swirling designs in the dirt behind their house… back when Al was…

Movement caught his eye, the image which appeared before him bringing a flood of tears to the teenager's eyes. His brother was there, his real, flesh and blood sibling kneeling in front of him with a broad grin on his face and paint smudged against his forehead. Just a child, before it all went wrong, before he was destroyed by his elder brother's hubris. Phantom laughter echoed around his head as Alphonse knelt down and drew designs on the floor, giggling that they should transmute a present for their mother…

Ed could never say no to his brother, even now, even when it was only the sibling of his memory, a child long dead despite his best efforts… no, not dead, but trapped… He couldn't move his arm, pinned as it was and always had been against the unforgiving rock, but Al wanted to play with the paints, and so he began to try and join in by stretching out a scarlet foot and using an unbroken toe as a brush.

They always loved to make things for their mother…

There was a harsh flash of blue alchemical light, a blinding supernova after the prolonged darkness of such intensity that for a moment it consumed all of the teenager's senses. He heard a sharp clang, and suddenly his flesh and blood arm dropped from where it had been so long suspended, connecting with his own torso hard enough to draw a curse. Blearily he dared to open his eyes once again and stared in shock at the needle of rock which had sprung from the transmutation circle drawn in his own blood and pierced through the links of the chains.

He… was free? He turned back to the circle just in time to see his brother wave sadly as he faded back into nothing more than memory. The muscles in his shoulder, frozen rigid after so long in the same position, shrieked in protest as he raised a shaky hand to wipe his eyes. Now was not the time.

Hawkeye was once again by his side, joined now by Mustang, wearing almost identical expressions of anticipation. It was all well and good, but Ed wasn't even sure if he would be able to move towards the door at this point…

…

Mustang and his men had paused at a sharp turn in the tunnel they were following, trusting it to keep their lights hidden from whoever was just around the bend. They could hear voices, a harsh, guttural language which Falman identified as Drachman even though he was unable to understand precisely what they were saying.

It had been their conversation which had finally led the rescue party to the right area, voices travelling far further than anyone would have expected as a result of the sounds bouncing from the rock walls. In their hiding place, everybody tensed as Mustang raised a hand meaningfully in front of his face. His intention was clear, but interrupted as Hawkeye slowly took her gun from its holster. There was a brief glaring match before inevitably his Lieutenant won out.

Keeping low, she peeked around the corner, taking careful aim… the sound of the twin gunshots was shockingly loud in the enclosed space, causing ears to ring and teeth to be set on edge. They fought past it though as the group broke cover, charging down the corridor even as the enemy came running from the opposite direction. This time Mustang took point, snapping swiftly and sending flames to engulf the approaching forces. The hellish light danced around the walls, illuminating targets which Mustang's team rapidly picked off.

The noise was almost unbearable and overwhelming… until one voice finally cut through across the carnage, hollering over the deaths of its comrades in heavily accented Amestrian, "I have the Fullmetal Alchemist. Stop what you are doing or I will kill him!"

Gradually the madness subsided, until Mustang's men were the only ones remaining on the battlefield, the fallen lying haphazardly around them in macabre poses. There was one last doorway at the far end of the tunnel, in which a pair of figures could be seen. One stood tall with a booted foot placed on the side of the other who lay sprawled on the ground and doing a remarkable impression of a corpse…

"Brother!" Alphonse's voice cut through the air like a knife, sharp with pain and anguish at the image in front of them. Mustang stared with undisguised horror at the shape which was hard to define as human… was this really Ed? Good god what had they done to him?  
"I will say it again- stop or he dies! I have my gun pointed directly at his head- if you shoot me I might just accidentally pull the trigger! I demand you let me leave unharmed!"

…

It had taken every single ounce of strength left in his body, but Ed had actually managed to get himself onto all fours. Success! He might actually be able to crawl, and then to freedom! The back of his mind noted that he had apparently completely lost his previously faint grip on reality. This fear was confirmed when moments later everything erupted into deafening sounds and flaring lights as if heaven and hell had decided to fight it out then and there.

Moments later the door to his cell burst open and the lead interrogator came charging in, apparently not noticing the freed state of his prisoner as he grasped the boy by his upper arm and dragged him towards the opening. He threw Ed to the ground, half over the threshold… _so close to freedom…_

Voices were in the air around him, far too many and too loud to even try and discern from one another. All he could think was _I am so, so close to leaving…_ raising his eyes ever so slightly he once again saw the familiar shapes of his friends, could practically hear them cheering for him to get up and move. On reflection his hallucinations were usually a lot more irritating that this lot… even so, he somehow felt as if he was drawing strength from the images.

….

All eyes were trained on the figures at the end of the tunnel, breath bated as they waited for the Colonel to say or do something to break the stalemate. Nobody noticed the slight twitching of fingers coming from the crumpled form at the Drachman's feet, how their tips were caked in red which stained the floor in almost lazy looking shapes…

Mustang was panting from exertion, eyes riveted on the trigger finger of the Drachman soldier. He could try pinpoint accuracy, but at this range he might catch Ed in the cross fire… his gaze was drawn to the teenager in question and white hot rage burned through his veins.

And then he froze. The battered and bleeding body of Edward Elric had shifted ever so slightly, as the youngest ever state alchemist somehow found the strength to raise his head. For the space of a heartbeat his golden eyes locked with those of the Colonel, and the man could have sworn that a small if tired smile flickered across his features. And then the boy tapped the blood soaked ground.

Bright blue light flared and arched around the alchemist and the stunned Drachman soldier who screamed in shock as the ground below his feet erupted into a series of spikes which pierced each limb, transfixing him like a butterfly in a case. The gun dropped from his nerveless fingers, landing a hair's breadth from his prisoner.

After a second's hesitation the rescuers were suddenly electrified, running forwards led by the Colonel and surrounding Ed. He looked truly awful, a patchwork of almost translucent skin and streaks of crimson, eyes wandering from face to face. Mustang had the disturbing notion that it was as if the boy couldn't really see them.

…

Ed felt people all around him, and opened his eyes to stare at the faces of all his friends and only family arrayed in front of him. It made him smile, just a little. He was glad that his mind had conjured them up one last time, because he could feel himself fading, the edges of his being blurring into a blackness which called to him hungrily. If he looked long enough it was almost like they were really there, but he knew they couldn't be… this wasn't real, and he knew because nothing was hurting anymore… his whole world had become pain, so to not feel it now could only mean that this was yet another trick being played out in his own head.

It seemed so real though… too real… far too real to be reality…

He let his eyes drift closed, still smiling faintly…

….

Mustang watched in horror as Ed's eyes seem to float shut of their own accord, the boy lying limp and still against the rough floor.  
"No! Don't you dare do this now Edward Elric!" and without further ado he scooped the kid up into his arms and began running for the route to the surface. He was determined. It was not going to end this way.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: alrighty, so here it is the last chapter :) thanks so much to everyone who R &R'd this story- was partly inspired by some of the comments for this ending :P a slightly shorter chapter to round everything off. Enjoy!**

Colonel Roy Mustang watched in silence as the box was lowered into the ground. That's all it was after all, in the end, just a box… it seemed far too small for its contents if he was being honest, although that did mean the hole didn't take as much work to hack out of the frozen Briggs ground. As much as he would have liked to take Ed back to Risembool it simply wasn't practical. Aah practicality.

The Rockbell girl had made the journey up, and now stood sniffing and biting her lip so as not to cry. Trying to be strong as the simple ceremony was completed. Al wasn't there in the end, choosing to remain within Fort Briggs, saying it was in case the cold affected his armour even though everyone knew the real reason.

 _He had been so damned close…_  
"Sir." Hawkeye, ever faithful Riza tapped him lightly on the arm as the hole was filled in. "We should get back inside… it is snowing after all."  
The Colonel reached up and touched his cheek, then nodded slightly and the two headed towards the main entrance of the fort. They were joined by Olivier Armstrong who had been overseeing the proceedings, and a minute later Winry came wandering back into the warmth.

For a moment they all stared at each other, unsure of exactly what they should say, before a new voice suddenly cut across their thoughts.  
"Hey! Colonel Bastard- would you close the door already? It's bloody freezing out there! What were you born in a barn or something?" the voice was accompanied by a squeak of wheels as Alphonse guided his brother's wheelchair closer to the group by the door.

The man in question sighed heavily. "For the love of all things Fullmetal- it's your bloody fault that I was out there at all. Honestly- insisting that I accompany Winry for such a ridiculous-"  
"Oi! it is not ridiculous to bury destroyed automail!" the girl beside him shrieked even louder than Ed- which he could have sworn was a physical impossibility. "I pour my heart and soul into each piece that I make so it is very emotional when this moron trashes it!"  
"Who are you calling a moron?!"

Mustang looked on and couldn't resist a small smile at the tableaux of arguing teenagers. _Yes, it really had been close…_ he had been almost certain that Ed wouldn't survive long enough for them to get him to the surface and medical attention, but apparently the brat's stubbornness ran very deep indeed. Even so, it had been touch and go on the mad drive back to Fort Briggs, with Havoc actually having to perform CPR as Hawkeye flew their car across the ice. At long last though they had made it.

The Fort's doctors had been horrified by the extent of the boy's injuries, and genuinely amazed that he was somehow still breathing at all. Amongst the Briggs soldiers who respected strength above all others, the Fullmetal Alchemist was swiftly becoming something of a living legend.

Mustang would never admit to anyone just how intense the relief had been when, after what felt like days, those golden eyes had reopened in the too thin face. The boy had stared at him, for some reason without the surprise which the officer had expected, before managing to half whisper in a rasping voice, "Hiya Roy."  
The Colonel had blinked in surprise- the kid had never called him by his first name before, and tried to cover his confusion with bravado, "A tad informal Fullmetal, but I will let it slide under the circumstances."

For a moment Ed had frowned ever so slightly in apparent confusion, and before Mustang could stop him raised his flesh hand to pinch himself hard on his cheek. A split second later he yelped slightly from pain, which strangely caused his eyes to light up with what could only be described as radiant joy. Faintly the now thoroughly confused Colonel caught the barely breathed word, "Real." And suddenly understood to a degree. Shortly after Al came charging into the room, almost dancing on the spot when his brother managed to wave tiredly in his direction and even smile a little.

That had been a couple of days before, and already the young alchemist was on the mend, although the base doctors had mentioned that if he kept eating as much as he was doing, it wouldn't surprise them if he ended up as wide as he was tall. They all knew Ed was feeling more himself when that comment earned a minute long rant. By no means his record but definitely a sign that, with some time, he would be ok.

After a few phone calls Mustang had managed to swing permission for him and his team to stay up north until the Elrics would be moved back to Central, which looked to be about a week. Even Hawkeye had relented under the circumstances, and declared that this would be a week's holiday (if only because shipping the paperwork all that way would be a nuisance). Of course, this amnesty did not extend to the processing of the captured and killed Drachmans, nor would Roy have wanted it to. In fact, he made sure to take a personal interest in ensuring that the conditions of their imprisonment were as far from comfortable as he could legally get away with.

He turned his attention back to the still bickering kids, smirking slightly as his subordinates attempted to break them up. The noise attracted the rest of his team who had been watching the automail burial from various windows, and now joined in the steadily escalating argument. Everyone for the time being simply safe, which in all honesty was the best he could ever hope for. _It was almost too good to be true._

 **A/N: alas all over now! (felt kind of evil at start seeing if I could trick anyone :P ) thanks again for reading! hope wherever you are you are having a good day!**


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